Saturday, September 20, 2008

Is she serious?

Paul McCartney’s ex-wife is donating $1 million worth of soy hamburgers, soy hot dogs and soy chicken cutlets to one of the poorest neighborhoods in the Bronx.

She tells the New York Post that she wants to make sure children in the neighborhood “have as many nutritional advantages as anyone else.

Then how about donating fruits and vegetables instead?  Veggie “hamburgers,” “hot dogs” and “chicken cutlets” have minimal nutritional value, perhaps an iota more than those made with animal products and by-products, simply because they are made with soy.  But only an iota.  Processed food in any form contains little nutritional value, making her attempt to spread the “good vegan word” among the “poor” is just plain stupid, not to mention insulting to all parties.  I’m not saying kids should never eat processed foods, I’m just saying she’s an idiot if she thinks providing them with soy versions of crap means they’ll be well-nourished in any way.  Kids need access to fresh, whole foods, not unhealthy processed foods wearing a disguise.

Heather Mills and her publicist should try to find another way to improve her low popularity rating with the public. 

Monday, September 15, 2008

Still here, folks. 

I am swamped at work, but in a good way.  This year is going to be fabulous.  And I really needed to have the school year start out on a great note, because I’m still having a hard time with Linus being gone.  We’re giving the other kitties all the attention and love we possibly can, because we know they’re grieving too.  Ariel is super clingy, and Emmett is Mr. Mopey Pants.  The Smoosh, though she’s not missing Linus like the other two, seems to be softening up a little, now that her arch nemesis (for no reason) is gone.  :(

Thank god for the Project Rungay Boys.  I’ve been watching Project Runway, but no time to blog about it.  So I’ll just link to their fabulous updates:

Christian Siriano’s Collection for Fashion Week.

The Project Runway Bryant Park Collections.  All six remaining designers showed, and there’s no hint of who the decoys might be, although I have my suspicions based on the collections.  I’ve been wrong a lot this season, though.  I’m hoping for a Kenley-Korto-Leanne finale.  Click through if you don’t mind seeing the collections ahead of time.  And Tim Gunn as the finale judge!  Thank you J-Lo’s “injury!”

Top Design ("We can’t live with your design???” What happened to “See you later, decorator?!?” If you’re going to do cheesy elimination catchphrases, Bravo, go all the way and stick with the cheesiest!) and Dr. Who (the first Tennant season) have been my distractions while grading papers, and Twilight, the first book in the Stephanie Meyer vampire series, has been my bedtime reading lately.  The buzz about the book was so huge, especially among my students last year, I thought I’d give it a go. Plus I love vampire stories.  It’s a quick read, and it’s entertaining enough, but it’s not living up to the hype, I think.  One thing’s for sure - any girl who ever felt like an oddball growing up will love this series.  Oddball girl gets hot guy.  Ok, so he’s a bloodsucking vampire, but still.  I imagine the books and movies will develop a large cult following of girls with hair constantly in their faces.

In other news, I am ridiculously happy for George Takei and Brad, who got married this weekend, and walked down the aisle to “One” from A Chorus Line.  I’m anxious to return to NYC to see Spring Awakening again, as I fear it has taken over a part of my soul.  And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see Daniel Radcliffe in Equus, so that will probably be on our agenda for the next trip.  Wednesday night we’re going to see Kasey Chambers and Shane Nicholson, and then we’ve got a Jason Mraz and a Hanson concert to look forward to in October. 

I’m supposed to run my first 5K in December with a running club my school sponsors, but I haven’t had the time (nor the energy) to train after school.  I’ve got to make the time, because I promised these kids I would do it, and it’s important to me to keep the promises I make to my students.  I’m just so tired at the end of the day!  *whines* It helps a bit that I’m now 21 pounds lighter than I was at the beginning of the summer, but I could stand to lose a bit more.  I’m sure the running would help with that.  Still, I feel so much better than I did at the end of the school year. 

All right. I’m off to make dinner and spend time with the person and the animals I love.  Drop me a comment and let me know what’s new with you!  :)

Sunday, August 31, 2008

I need to blog about something to take my mind off Linus.

Yesterday, in an effort to keep busy, I decided to make cupcakes.  I decided on a vegan cake recipe from Whole Foods online and a frosting recipe from The Post Punk Kitchen.  I tweaked the cake recipe by adding some almond extract and didn’t exactly measure the almond or vanilla in the frosting recipe, so I’m sure I added more than I should have.  \

The combination of this cake and this frosting was perfect.  The cake isn’t exceptionally sweet, in fact, it doesn’t even contain any granulated sugar.  The sweetness comes from 1/2 cup of maple syrup instead.  The recipe could actually masquerade as a muffin recipe with the addition of some nuts to the batter.  The frosting, on the other hand, is very sweet.  I made a full batch, but a half batch would have been sufficient for a dozen cupcakes.  The almond in the frosting recipe is a winner - it’s the most delicious frosting I’ve ever made. 

Even if you’re not vegan, I promise you will love these cupcakes. 

I just want to thank everyone who sent us emails or messages about Linus.  You have no idea how much they helped, truly.  It’s going to get harder before it gets better.  When I got up today, I looked to the doorway, thinking I would see him sitting daintily with his two little white paws touching.  He didn’t pad behind me when I went to make the breakfast plates and he didn’t push his head into my hand when I was scooping out the food.  He’s not going to be there to play his favorite hiding game when I’m putting fresh sheets on the bed, and he won’t be curled up on my pillow when I go to bed at night.  It’s all so weird.  I feel like he’s supposed to be here still, but he’s not.  I think I hear him mewing and I have to remind myself that it’s probably Emmett instead.  Y’know, some people have animals who live in their house with them, and some people have four-legged family members.  Those of us in the latter group know how much it hurts when these family members leave us.  It’s really indescribable.  Time will heal this wound, I know, but for know, know how much I appreciate all the kind words you all have sent.  They mean the world.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

This morning, Linus was unable to move his back legs.  On the day his brother and littermate Milo passed away six years ago, he had the exact same symptoms - a result of a severe and debilitating case of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.  As soon as Tony brought Linus to me to see what was wrong, I knew how this was going to end.  We rushed him to the emergency vet, and the vet confirmed my worst fears.  Linus would not recover.  I was holding him when he passed away. 

Linus was a sweet and gentle cat right until the end.  He loved to be held like an infant and would put his paw on your chin.  He loved to sleep in pools of sunlight and he never complained when he had to have his nails trimmed.  He was the best cat. 

My heart is broken.  Peehinus, I will miss you.

Friday, August 22, 2008

I spent the last couple of weeks hanging out with my family back in New York.  Most of my time was spent with my nephew, Alex, who’s three and a half.  He’s totally hilarious and obsessed with music.  We got him completely hooked on the “Mahna Mahna” video from The Muppet Show one night and ended up watching the thing about forty thousand times. 

My mom is the queen of saving everything from our childhoods.  In my parents’ basement, towering shelves are stuffed with everything from The Millenium Falcon to Baby Alive.  Among the multitude of toys most certainly drenched in lead-based paint was the newest toy that Alex has adopted as his own:

Hell yeah, that’s a Dukes of Hazzard guitar!

You have to love growing up in the 70s and 80s.  Only during that time would it have been remotely acceptable to put a picture of Daisy Duke’s heaving bosoms on a toy for children. 

Ugh.  Today is my last day of summer vacation.  I’ve been away for a couple of weeks so my obsessive PR blogging has been stunted.  I have thoughts on the last two design challenges, though. 

The Lipstick Jungle Challenge

Blayne and Leanne

How is this day to night?  I’m unclear.  And what executive is going to wear skin tight low rise bermuda shorts to work, let alone for a night out on the town?  Somehow “muffin top” and “CEO” don’t go well together, I think.  This design did not translate in execution, and Leanne should have reined him in.  She probably tried, but took too long getting her words out.

Kelli and Daniel

I didn’t think this was as “slutty slutty slutty” as Michael Kors proclaimed it to be.  I mean, in Kelli’s world, this is probably a totally appropriate outfit for an executive.  At a tattoo parlor, but still.

Jerrel and Stella

How cute was Jerrel when he chose Stella for his teammate?  I love them both.  I could totally see Brooke Shields in that outfit.  And after last week’s Bo Peep USO disaster, Jerrel showed that he knows how to listen to and take criticism. 

Korto and Joe

Have I mentioned how much I can’t stand Joe?  Oh, I have?  Well allow me to reiterate.  I can’t stand Joe.  Not only did he talk out of both sides of his mouth during this challenge, (Oh no, Korto, it’s not too much, oh wait, here comes Tim, yes, Tim, I think it’s too much) he didn’t even redeem himself with a decent contribution to the design.  The sheath dress he made to go under Korto’s blouse was ill-fitting and poorly constructed. BOOOOOOOO!

Keith and Kenley

Why did this win?  Can someone explain that to me?  I usually love a high waisted skirt but this one didn’t do anything for me.  I did love the fabric on the top of the dress but there was so little of it, it was hard to appreciate.

Terri and Suede

All that drama?  For this?  To quote Heidi, it looks cheap, no?  However, all design errors are forgiven because this:  “I don’t know what he’s packing, balls or vajayjay, but he needs to work that out ‘cause I ain’t got no babies, ain’t nobody sucking on my titties. So please, man up.” is as good, if not better than “Where’s Andre?” and comes pretty damn close to “What’s up trannies?”

The Drag Queen Challenge

Oh, Project Runway producers.  If only you had given this challenge to any other season’s designers, we would have seen some big-ass frocks coming down that runway.  Instead, we got Keith’s rag and Daniel’s dress straight off the racks of G&G.

Redeeming the episode a bit was Heidi telling Chris March, “Your boos are so big!” as he marched onto the runway as a Disco Valkyrie.  He’s so fabulous, it’s insane. 

I am furious that Joe won this challenge.  Honestly, how original is a spandex JUMPSUIT for a drag queen?  All he had to do to get that fit was make the entire thing a half-size too small, and boom, ass-hugging greatness.  After Varla embraced him with a hug, he looked like he wanted to take a five-hour hot shower.  And yet, he surely seemed to enjoy putting that enormous brassiere on over his shirt. Maybe there’s a little DQ in him after all, eh?  Still…

...if Varla hadn’t given him the idea to transform the collar into a more nautical piece, he would have sent Pink Elvis down that runway and most likely would’ve ended up in the bottom three.  And that collar, hat, and belt look like they’re made from that foamy craft fabric used mostly by teachers and scrapbookers.  Varla totally worked that look, though.  The conspiracy theorist in me says that the producers are purposely giving subpar designs the win to drive viewers away before the show heads over to Lifetime.  Because under no circumstances was Joe’s work better than:

Terri’s

Amazing.  While Varla’s look was ten kinds of old school drag queen, Terri’s was fresh and new and original.  It was perfect for her client’s persona.  The boots!  Oh, you just know Michael Kors snuck into the workroom later that night and paraded around in those boots until daybreak. 

Korto

I loved this.  The removable skirt, the sculpted collar of flames - all very cool.  While her look was more “traditional drag queen,” it was much much more inventive than Joe’s which was merely costume-y and once again, way too literal.

Blayne

Loved it.  Very 80s.  Too bad his wings kept flopping.

Daniel

Oooo, my goodness.  I would have auf’d Keith, but this was awful.  He doesn’t take criticism well and he doesn’t take the elements of the challenge into consideration when designing.  Daniel just does what Daniel wants to do. 

Keith

She looked like Grizzabella the Glamour Cat in drag, that’s all I have to say.

Jerrel

I really liked this!  He definitely listened to his client’s concerns about the collar and transformed it into something really cool. 

Kenley

Eh.  It’s good, but I could see this on any Vegas stage.  I think she could’ve done better.

Leanne

Super cute, but not over the top enough.  It definitely represented her design perspective and fit her client’s personality well.

Stella

What I just said about Leanne’s.

Suede

Design: boring.  Pissing match: hilarious.  Should have been the other way around.

And now, back to whining that my vacation is coming to an end.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I’ve been in Western New York for the last ten days visiting family and putting together a 25-year reunion for our elementary school class.  Yes, elementary school.  My friend Sheri and I gathered up as many people as we could from kindergarten through eighth grade for a weekend of fun and nostalgia.  I’m sure I’ll be writing more about the whole experience soon but right now I’m going to decompress after the long drive back home. 

For now I’ll say that I really did have the most wonderful childhood.  The small private school we all attended had one class for each grade, so the majority of kids we went to school with were our classmates and friends for eight of the most important years of our lives.  The passage of time has not weakened the bond between us.  In fact, I think it reminded many of us of the unique and unusual experience we all shared.  I’m so glad to have these people back in my life. 

More to come on the reunion weekend later…

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Did I miss something?  The challenge was to make something for the American Olympic team to wear to the opening ceremony, right?  Because the majority of these designs frightened and confused me.  Let us discuss.

Blayne

I didn’t hate this, but I didn’t love it either.  It was a little more “and they call her...Charlie!” commercial than Olympic opening ceremony garb.  Also his model looks like Leelee Sobieski.

Daniel

Does Disney own Bravo, and do they have some kind of dirt on Daniel from boarding school?  Because this looks like something we should see in the Main Street Parade right before the fireworks.

Jennifer

I live in the south, where people really do dress like this.  But this challenge wasn’t to design an outfit for an elementary school teacher, was it?

Jerell

This is by far my favorite silly outfit of the night, for two reasons.  One, I love when the designers completely overthink the challenge and insist on putting “their spin” on things.  It only ends in beautiful, beautiful disaster (see Bo Peep above).  Two, that little USO number with the tilted hat he wore on the runway was beyond tender.  Every time I imagine swarms of athletes in this getup walking around a track, I burst into peals of laughter.  Love it.

Joe

Ok, not just because I hate him but I really hate this design.  First of all the skort totally doesn’t work with that long-ass front.  Aside from the sneaker stripes, the other thing I really really really don’t like about this outfit is the USA lettering on the skirt and on the back of the jacket.  It’s ridiculous.  Why not drape them in the flag while you’re at it, Joe?  With the words to the Pledge of Allegiance and God Bless America lettered on those bangle bracelets?  Because, seriously?  BANGLE BRACELETS?

Keith

Oh, look.  Another bubble skirt.  I think the owner of Jubilee Jumbles quit her day job and started working out.

Kelli

Last time I checked, hipster retro chicks weren’t all that into athletics. 

Kenley

If the winner of the 1958 Betty Crocker bake-off was delivering pineapple upside-down cake to the actual athletes, this’d prolly be a good outfit to do it in.

Korto

Yes.  ‘Cept for the leather.

Leanne

I was extremely surprised that this wasn’t chosen by the judges for the top three.  This was far better than Joe’s in terms of design and execution, and something a team could easily wear without looking at all costume-y. 

Stella

Sure, for the Blade Runner Olympics.

Suede

When did dancing in a Broadway musical become an Olympic sport?

Terri

I really thought this should’ve won the challenge.  I love the idea of a blazer.  I love the scarf.  I love the strapless bustier and the pants.  And the idea that she put it all together in the same amount of time as the other designers who produced crizzap.  Amazing work. 

Friday, August 08, 2008

Let’s just get this out of the way right now.

Hate.  Hate hate hate hate hate.  Ok, fine, I realize his “too many queens around here” comment was probably taken out of context to give him the homophobe edit, but still.  On reality television, you only get the kind of edit that your words provoke. 

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, we can move on.

at the Atlas apartments...

Uh oh!  Keith’s shirtless!  And bent over!  And grooming himself!  I hope this doesn’t mean an elimination!

Dear Bravo, we’re aware of your original shows, all two and a half of them.  No need to flash them in front of Heidi every two seconds, especially when she’s wearing such a fabulous blouse.  Have your people call my people and we’ll do lunch!

Is this the only shot they know how to get of Shannone?

Blayne can’t tan.  Blayne sad.  Blayne needs new hoodie.

Eye of the Tiger video - take two!

at the Armory...

Walking onto that field is probably the most athletic thing most of these people have done in, say, ever. 

Is Apolo Ohno really qualified to be the guest judge, considering he’s sporting a soul patch? 

Sports?  You’re kidding, right?  I went to boarding school!  I’m only familiar with sports that involve white bermuda shorts and striped cable-knit sweaters! 

Plus, I’m not a very strong swimmer.

THE PRETEND OLYMPICS!!! OMG!!!111!!!PONIES!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  BEST CHALLENGE EVAH YOU GUYSSSSSS!

What.

Evs.

over at Mood...

You’re using...oh forget it.  No one ever listens to me anyway.  Make another damn garbage bag, for all I care.

Keith totally stole my fabric, but it doesn’t really matter because I am going to make AN ENTIRE COLLECTION OF CLOTHING worthy of the Olympic team for the opening ceremony in, like, twenty-eight minutes.  SUCK ON THAT, KEITH!

back at the workroom...

How many pins do you think I can fit into my cheek pouches without hurting myself, huh, Kenley?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  AHAHA!

Shut.

The hell.

Up.

Tim!  Tim!  Look at my totally literal design!  Look at it!  Isn’t it literal? 

Yes, Joe, it is!  And look here!  A totally trite idea for this zipper that the producers told me and the judges to gush over!

Oh hai Blayne.  You can haz Sergeant Pepper’s outfit.

I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

Oh, god, youth.

Like, I only know the Beatles from Across The Universe, not even from Beatlemania or I Am Sam, I’m not even old enough for that.  Or at least that’s what I’d like you to believe so I can get more air time IN MY PURPLE HOODIE.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Holla at cha boy?

Kid, don’t even.

Um.

But Ti-iiiihiiiim!  I don’t DO athletic weaaaar!  I do cocktail dressssssessssssss!  I went to boarding schoooool!

The bolero’s cute.  Very Wonder Woman.

But Kenley told me not toooooooo!  I went to boarding schooooooool!

*begins meltdown #8752*

Oof.  Um, you might want to start packing your things now, Jen.

In boarding school we were allowed to thread other people’s machines without having our sexuality mocked.  Because that’s how we roll in boarding school.  I think Wesley went to boarding school, because we were really connecting.

I hate Joe!  Joe’s a meanie!  He reminds me of all the bullies from boarding school, only with a bad center part and facial hair circa 1993.

after the Runway show...

I must be on crack, because I thought this…

was sort of cute with its athletic touches.

Nina wants me.

Daniel.  Daniel Daniel Daniel.  “If drinking’s her sport, that’s the dress.” (brilliance du Kors)

Seriously?

I can’t look.

That’s right.  That’s how it’s done.

This Olympic team would look very smart.  And chic.  And smart.

Someone went a little crazy with the bedazzler on my top, don’t you think?

All together now...OH GIRL, NO.  And especially not with a matching USO outfit. 

I laugh in your general direction.

the judges deliberate...

This challenge drained my soul. 

Well I think I know who has to go.

Prim and proper and ashamed of your body doesn’t work on this show, bitches.  Hurray for sportswear and T&A!

Korto wins!

Terri is totally classy!

Jennifer goes home.

I guess it’s pretty surreal to talk about surrealism in design but never actually, y’know, show any.  I liked you, Jen, but it was your time.  Auf Wiedersehn!

More on the Olympic gear tomorrow!