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From the entry Well you know his name is Simon, Fran said:

Doesn’t it just make you want to give Simon big long wet kisses right on his filthy mouth?

From the entry Well you know his name is Simon, Melissa said:

OK. I was sitting here having chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk when your post came up on my google reader… and I almost spewed milk out of my nose.

You and Tony are in a group of 4 because we frequently have to clean the pee off the heads of our dogs. Or watch them try to remove long grass which hangs from their balloon knots (I say “watch” but there has been an incident which involved removal and a needle nose pliers). Or yell at Booker for violating The Chew. I could go on…

From the entry Well you know his name is Simon, Wendy said:

OMG OMG OMG ... what is that MOOOOOOVE!!!!

From the entry Grrr., Jasm said:

Hello!

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Kindly email me back at if you’re interested and I will send you pricing details, guidelines and processes of this offer.
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Best Regards!

From the entry Grrr., Valerie said:

We had a car like that in my neighborhood - the alarm was going off all the time and the owners never seemed to do anything about.

It ended up covered in broken raw eggs and canallini beans.

From the entry Grrr., Jen Boyer said:

This is kind of sinister, really. Like you said, they’re probably just on vacation, but my mind of course immediately goes to “there are people being held captive in the basement/the house is a meth lab/baaaaaad things are happening there.”

The car alarm would REALLY piss me off, though.

From the entry Grrr., Sandy said:

I don’t know why, but this story reminds me of the time I heard three loud bangs and made a call to my local police department.  I felt like a real tool, but I was like, “It may have been gunshots.  I don’t know.” I didn’t want to not call the police and have someone be dead like Kitty Genovese.  Thankfully, nothing happened, but the cops did come zooming down the street moments later.  It’s comforting to have good cops.

From the entry Literal Take On Me, Rebecca said:

Very funny; what the hell is it???

From the entry Wowsie wow wow wow! (TM Wendy), Audra said:

First, this is the gay Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Fourth of July all rolled into one with rainbow sparklers and lube.

Second, every time you say Wowsie, wow, wow all I can think is Wow, Wow, Wubsie - the children’s show I’m forced to listen to multiple days a week.

Third, Simon is right - he needs to put out a decent album.

Fourth, I’m so proud of him!!!

From the entry Wowsie wow wow wow! (TM Wendy), Sandy said:

I know, right?  Simon Cowell’s response made me go a little soft in the niblets, too.  My friend Amy asked if I thought the Claymates would be disappointed, if they were that deluded, and I was like, “Well, if my friend Danielle is any indication, this is like gay Christmas” (Ghristmas?  I don’t know.)

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About Me

vegan. teacher. opinionated. loves books, shoes, hanson, ‘the amazing race’, the 80s, ‘waiting for guffman’, mid-afternoon naps, musicals and breakfast cereal. four cats. one redhead. hi.

Interesting Stuff

Ikea (1)

I don’t think I can say it enough. I love Ikea.  With the exception of about three things, our entire house is has been furnished by the good company of Sweden.  Some of my favorite new purchases include this lamp and these chairs.  In red, of course.

Learning CSS (0)

I bought this book: Beginning CSS Web Development: From Novice to Professional by Simon Collison with a gift card over the summer.  It’s fantastic!  I am a complete novice with this sort of thing, but I’m learning quickly thanks to this book.  Thanks to Collison, I’ll never forget to top center my background image again.

Colour Lovers (0)

If you like playing with color and color palettes, you’ll love this site - Colour Lovers.  I’m playing with a blog redesign right now and it’s the perfect place to create a palette.  Fun!

Gus and Stuff (0)

My friend Chel’s Gus and Stuff website and blog.  “It’s all about being creative.”

Penn Says (0)

Watch Penn Jillette share his thoughts on topics from Garth Brooks to atheism to freedom fighting princesses.  Excellent stuff, here.

Dreamgirls (1)

I finally got around to watching Dreamgirls yesterday.  Ooooooooh my goodness.  Jennifer Hudson totally deserved that Oscar.  Brilliant. 

BBC America (1)

I am particularly addicted to You Are What You Eat at the moment.  I’m especially fascinated by the whole kebab thing. 

Hanson - Snowed In (0)

Snowed In is my favorite Christmas CD.  It’s Hanson.  Enough said.

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Friday, August 08, 2008

Project Runway 5 - Episode 4

Let’s just get this out of the way right now.

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Hate.  Hate hate hate hate hate.  Ok, fine, I realize his “too many queens around here” comment was probably taken out of context to give him the homophobe edit, but still.  On reality television, you only get the kind of edit that your words provoke. 

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, we can move on.

at the Atlas apartments...

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Uh oh!  Keith’s shirtless!  And bent over!  And grooming himself!  I hope this doesn’t mean an elimination!

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Dear Bravo, we’re aware of your original shows, all two and a half of them.  No need to flash them in front of Heidi every two seconds, especially when she’s wearing such a fabulous blouse.  Have your people call my people and we’ll do lunch!

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Is this the only shot they know how to get of Shannone?

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Blayne can’t tan.  Blayne sad.  Blayne needs new hoodie.

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Eye of the Tiger video - take two!

at the Armory...

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Walking onto that field is probably the most athletic thing most of these people have done in, say, ever. 

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Is Apolo Ohno really qualified to be the guest judge, considering he’s sporting a soul patch? 

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Sports?  You’re kidding, right?  I went to boarding school!  I’m only familiar with sports that involve white bermuda shorts and striped cable-knit sweaters! 

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Plus, I’m not a very strong swimmer.
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THE PRETEND OLYMPICS!!! OMG!!!111!!!PONIES!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  BEST CHALLENGE EVAH YOU GUYSSSSSS!

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What.

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Evs.

over at Mood...

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You’re using...oh forget it.  No one ever listens to me anyway.  Make another damn garbage bag, for all I care.

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Keith totally stole my fabric, but it doesn’t really matter because I am going to make AN ENTIRE COLLECTION OF CLOTHING worthy of the Olympic team for the opening ceremony in, like, twenty-eight minutes.  SUCK ON THAT, KEITH!

back at the workroom...

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How many pins do you think I can fit into my cheek pouches without hurting myself, huh, Kenley?

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  AHAHA!

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Shut.

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The hell.

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Up.

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Tim!  Tim!  Look at my totally literal design!  Look at it!  Isn’t it literal? 

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Yes, Joe, it is!  And look here!  A totally trite idea for this zipper that the producers told me and the judges to gush over!

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Oh hai Blayne.  You can haz Sergeant Pepper’s outfit.

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I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

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Oh, god, youth.

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Like, I only know the Beatles from Across The Universe, not even from Beatlemania or I Am Sam, I’m not even old enough for that.  Or at least that’s what I’d like you to believe so I can get more air time IN MY PURPLE HOODIE.

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Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Holla at cha boy?

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Kid, don’t even.

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Um.

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But Ti-iiiihiiiim!  I don’t DO athletic weaaaar!  I do cocktail dressssssessssssss!  I went to boarding schoooool!

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The bolero’s cute.  Very Wonder Woman.

But Kenley told me not toooooooo!  I went to boarding schooooooool!

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*begins meltdown #8752*

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Oof.  Um, you might want to start packing your things now, Jen.

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In boarding school we were allowed to thread other people’s machines without having our sexuality mocked.  Because that’s how we roll in boarding school.  I think Wesley went to boarding school, because we were really connecting.

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I hate Joe!  Joe’s a meanie!  He reminds me of all the bullies from boarding school, only with a bad center part and facial hair circa 1993.

after the Runway show...

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I must be on crack, because I thought this…

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was sort of cute with its athletic touches.

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Nina wants me.

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Daniel.  Daniel Daniel Daniel.  “If drinking’s her sport, that’s the dress.” (brilliance du Kors)

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Seriously?

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I can’t look.

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That’s right.  That’s how it’s done.

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This Olympic team would look very smart.  And chic.  And smart.

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Someone went a little crazy with the bedazzler on my top, don’t you think?

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All together now...OH GIRL, NO.  And especially not with a matching USO outfit. 

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I laugh in your general direction.

the judges deliberate...

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This challenge drained my soul. 

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Well I think I know who has to go.

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Prim and proper and ashamed of your body doesn’t work on this show, bitches.  Hurray for sportswear and T&A!

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Korto wins!

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Terri is totally classy!

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Jennifer goes home.

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I guess it’s pretty surreal to talk about surrealism in design but never actually, y’know, show any.  I liked you, Jen, but it was your time.  Auf Wiedersehn!

More on the Olympic gear tomorrow!

Posted by Danielle on 08/08 | (2) Comments •
Page 1 of 1 pages

I love: Shut.The hell.Up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And yes, could Joe BE any more literal? Ugh.

Posted by Wendy  on  08/09  at  05:15 PM

I just about wet myself laughing sitting here at work. And you know I mean it when I say that.

I think you got it. Jennifer is not just surreal, she is meta-surreal! Which means that in her not-at-all-surrealness, she is even more surreal than anyone else could ever thing about being! Or something like that.

LOOOOVE the boarding school references. Bwahhahah!

Posted by Jen  on  08/12  at  01:32 PM

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