So I'm a snot who gets a new car every few years. So what? The truth is, I've been leasing cars for the last several years because I don't particularly care about cars and therefore do not maintain them very well. "You mean there's a reason behind tire rotation? I thought it was just a money-making scam." See what I mean?

While it may appear that my new car habit is a direct result of some Veruca Salt-ish foot stamping and whining, that's really not the case. If I didn't drive around in a fairly new automobile, it's likely that I'd be standing on the side of the road, flagging down police cars. (There's a good chance my cell phone battery would also be dead.) So, I've been leasing.

A little less than three years ago, I turned in my leased VW Passat and leased a new VW Jetta. Leasing seemed like the perfect option for me. While I realize it's not in the consumer's best interest, I don't really care. I get to drive around in a warrantied vehicle which requires little to no maintenance, and my monthly payment is lower. And it worked well until we moved out to Kingdom Come, and I started putting 60 miles per day on my car. It's pretty safe to assume I wasn't going to stay within my miles limits on the Jetta.

I was going to lose money, no matter what, to the tune of around 1500 to 2000 dollars, depending on how many miles over my limit I went. I didn't put any money down on the Jetta, so I decided to chalk the whole thing up as a learning experience and eat the loss. Yesterday, we went shopping.

Shopping turned to buying. Impulse control is not my best quality, so I walked onto the VW lot, saw a black 2008 Jetta and said, "That's my new car." Tony, who is much more analytical and thoughtful, reined me in temporarily and helped me weigh the pros and cons of this hasty decision. Thank god for him, or I'd have to dedicate a room in our house just for As Seen On TV crap.

We ended up driving home in the black Jetta, somewhat to Tony's dismay, because the interior of the car is like a camel-beige color, which he hates. I believe the word he and his twin brother John used to describe this combination was "ASS." Yes, yes it was. When I said, "I don't understand why you guys don't like this combination," the reply was, "Because it's ASS."

The most hysterical thing is that I still have the old Jetta. I'm selling it to CarMax on Monday. The next two days will most definitely be the only time in my life I will EVER have two cars. I feel like a temporary yuppie.