No, I will not be watching Private Practice. I never got into Grey's Anatomy, and that Kate Walsh is a bit of a tranny, and not the good kind. However, there are several new shows in the fall lineup, in addition to renewed shows, that I am looking forward to. Let's go by day:

Sunday: I may catch Viva Laughlin, only to see what on earth CBS thinks could possibly fill Amazing Race's slot in the interim. They must know this trainwreck will be canceled before TAR returns, because why else would they essentially revive Cop Rock? Just because the UK can pull off musical television does not mean America can do the same. (Apparently this show is based on a UK version called Viva Blackpool. This translation will probably be more Coupling than The Office - that's my prediction.) Until TAR comes back, Sunday nights will be for football and catching up on episodes of How Clean is Your House and Holmes on Homes in the DVR.

Monday: I don't know what the hell we're going to do about Mondays. First, we have Dancing With the Stars, which must be watched until the elimination of Marie Osmond. In the same time slot, How I Met Your Mother and the new geek-show The Big Bang Theory competes with Chuck, also new. DVR technology had better improve. If I can stay awake, I'll probably watch Journeyman after the highly-anticipated return of Heroes, which quickly surpassed Lost last year as my favorite non-reality show ever. I Love New York 2 runs in the same time slot as Journeyman, but I'm thinking I won't even bother DVRing it. I started watching it last season but quickly lost interest. It didn't have the same appeal as Flavor of Love. Not even close.

Tuesday: Easy. DVR The Biggest Loser and The Singing Bee and watch House.

Wednesday: This is the day I am most looking forward to in terms of new shows. Pushing Daisies (created by Heroes' Bryan Fuller) and The Bionic Woman are back-to-back at 8 and 9. Both shows look amazing. I feel like Pushing Daisies will be my next Dead Like Me, and The Bionic Woman, the next Alias. Michelle Ryan even looks exactly like Jennifer Garner. Only it's the Bionic Woman! Jaime Sommers! So much awesomeness! I'll probably DVR Kid Nation so I have at least one TV show to make me violent. The Sarah Silverman Show returns on Comedy Central - easily the funniest new cable show next to Flight of the Conchords. It's our watch-it-in-bed show. Can't wait.

Thursday: I kind of gave up on My Name is Earl last season, even though I really enjoyed it. If I can catch up on that and 30 Rock, they will probably be the two shows that provide me with some background noise while I grade papers and throw in loads of laundry. At 9, though, the world stops for The Office. No one is allowed to call during that half-hour except my brother, during commercials, to parrot hilarious lines from the episode. A few more chores and it's off to bed to watch Tim Gunn's Guide to Style.

Friday and Saturday: Netflix nights. I'm hoping for a return of Jekyll and Extras in some form, too. Or, we may actually, like, leave the house to interact with society. *shudder*

Of course, I haven't figured in cable shows like Project Runway, The Next Food Network Star, Flavor of Love, the certain-to-happen Rock of Love with Bret Michaels, Design Star, Top Chef, Nashville Star, Hotel Babylon and the rest. And of course there's Lost, whenever it returns. Usually I just DVR those and watch them when I get home from work or early Saturday mornings. I just realized that we actually may be getting to the point where we will need another DVR. It's gotten that bad.

So, what shows will you be watching?