Dear googlers,

I am glad that clicking the link to my blog seemed like it would satisfy your quest for knowledge. For some of your queries, I may be of some help. Others, not so much. Let's take a look at some of your recent requests, shall we?

~ to the "running up that heel lyric" person: I can help you. Either you are from the deep south and have difficulty spelling, or you mistyped your search terms. I think the song you're looking for is "Running Up That Hill," by Kate Bush. You can find it on her album Hounds of Love (1985).

~ to the "Team Motherboy, boots" person: I cannot help you. Although I am somewhat of a shoe-junkie, I could not see their boots closely enough to ID the brand. Sorry.

...in that vein...

~ to the "where did the name team motherboy come from" person: I can help you. Perhaps you went to your kitchen to get a diet cola when they explained this, but it comes from an episode of the cancelled-too-soon television program Arrested Development. Motherboy is an annual dinner dance for mothers and sons to bond with one another. I won't explain further because you should really watch the show. It's good.

~ to all of the people searching for Lori of the Singing Bee: You actually pay attention to the contestants' names?

~ to all of the people searching for anything to do with pictures of anyone (housewives, single vegans, monkeys - ok, I made up monkeys, but it's only a matter of time) wearing heels: Wrong kind of website. Go away.

...finally...

~ to the person searching for "man shits at police concert": OMG. Seriously? I cannot help you, like, AT ALL, but seriously? Did someone shit near you? Is the concert that good? Like, "shit your pants" good? If you shit your pants at the Police concert, what would you do? Would you leave or stay? Those tickets are expensive. Plus this is the big reunion tour. Then again, it's probably really uncomfortable to sit around in shat pants for hours, not to mention it'd be kind of hard to blame the smell on the person near you. It'd be pretty obvious that it was coming from you. Hmmmm, that's a tough one. I'm going to see them in a couple of weeks. I don't plan to shit my pants at the concert, but apparently it might happen somewhere near me, so thanks for the heads up!