We're real heathens this year. We're not decorating for Xmas.

Ok, it's not really because we're heathens. It's because we have a boatload of home improvement projects to take care of over the break, which my totally awesome dad is coming to help us with. I just can't deal with dragging out boxes of decorations, too.

So, for the past couple of years, my parents, who are insanely generous despite constant protesting on the part of me and my brother, have given us insanely generous Xmas gifts to help us with a fixer-upper project. As if that wasn't enough, my mom insists that we send her a list of what she calls "little piddly items, you know, stocking stuffers," so we "have something real to open" on Xmas day. Like the gigantic, unnecessary wads of cash aren't "real."

Because it pleases her to walk the aisles of BJ's Warehouse, Costco, and Sam's Club, today I indulged my mom by giving her our list. If it makes her happy to know we will not have to purchase Q-Tips, aluminum foil, Venus razor replacement blades, Always feminine products, ziploc bags, deodorant and socks for the next twelve months, who am I to deny her that happiness?