Look at this.

This is what we have been dealing with for the last few weeks. Since we brought Smooshy home, she has taken an interest in nothing except eating things made of fabric. Socks, in particular.

The minute we brought her home, she started hiding under the bed. Poor thing, what with her horrible previous life and all. I didn't realize there was a sock under the bed, and I didn't expect that she would MUNCH THE ENTIRE TOE off the sock in a matter of minutes. I just thought, "Oh, poor kitty, she needs to adjust on her own time. Let's let her get accustomed to her new surroundings by peeking out at them from a safe, comfortable spot." I didn't think, "Oh, poor kitty, she needs to adjust on her own time, and what better way to do that than hide under a bed and devour a sock toe." I've heard of comfort foods, but this is ridiculous.

After a few good barfs, and refusing to eat, off to the emergency vet we went. Six hundred dollars later, we learned that she had no intestinal blockage, but possible cancer. (A trip to our own vet the next day and some bloodwork confirmed that there's no cancer - she's just fine.) We came home and scanned the entire house for all of the things lying around that she might want to eat, and made them inaccessible. She can't jump very high, so between high shelves and closed-in spaces, we thought we were successful in Smooshy-proofing the house.

Then we learned that she also likes to eat plastic. And how did we learn this? By discovering piles of barf all over the house with bits of plastic in them. I guess she was chewing pieces off the litter pan liners. The piles of barf were followed by barf sprays, which I mentioned the other day. And then pools of barfed-up water. She refused ot eat, so panic mode set in, and I was convinced another trip to the emergency room was in our near future. When she started keeping water down, I felt more optimisitc that anything dangerous had been regurgitated.

Sure enough, she came trotting out from under the bed yesterday, right as rain, and ready to eat. She gobbled down some kitty food and pieces of boiled chicken, which I borrowed from Tony's brother, because, hello? Vegans here. She was bossing the other cats around and being pissed off at the world in general, so I knew everything was ok.

Now, today, I find this sock bullshit. These socks were hidden away in a closet, which I apparently did not close completely this morning. Totally my fault. Emmett is very curious about closets, so he managed to open the door enough for Smooshy to retrieve the socks and chow down. So far I haven't seen any barfing, so she's either going to pass this chunk of sock, or the forecast calls for another Barf Fest Watch.

I'll let you know if it gets upgraded to a warning.