April 17, 2006

What's Easter without a trip to Ikea?

"What are you doing for Easter?"

"Um, nothing."

"What do you mean, nothing?"

"Mom, we're not all that big on celebrating the death and resurrection of Christ."

"Danielle! *audible sigh*"

Heh. I don't know why it tickles me so to be such an oppositional heathen daughter, but it does. I was going to throw in, "Plus, we're boycotting Easter until they start making vegan Peeps!" but I reconsidered. I'll save that one for next year.

While many families participated in Easter traditions such as egg hunts and the consumption of hollowed-out chocolate crucifixes, we spent the day assembling, ruining, exchanging and re-assembling our new bedroom furniture from Ikea.

Our money pit of a townhouse (which we purchased as the real estate bubble began to burst) has one of those big yuppie master bedrooms with the big yuppie cathedral ceiling, so we thought it fitting to purchase the shortest Swedish bed frame possible. In my mind I had the room redecorated in shades of mocha, chocolate and aqua, when SOMEONE informed me that SOMEONE would be happy with any color in the bedroom but BROWN. Even though SOMEONE has completely fucked up my idea for a soft, soothing sleepspace, I will come up with an equally peaceful color scheme, because I love SOMEONE and want SOMEONE to be as happy with the bedroom as I am.

But because it was Easter, I figured I'd try to be a bit less of an oppositional heathen, so a traditional Catholic guilt trip was in order.

An editing suggestion:

"...which we purchased as the real estate bubble began to burst..."

Not quite right. Instead:

"...which we purchased, causing the real estate bubble to burst..."

That would be more appropriate.

I too share your confusion at the celebration of easter - everyone was going crazy doing grocery shopping and planning big meals and I was just getting annoying at the store being incredibly crowded. We spent the day cleaning the house and it was so much better than staring at dead things on the dining room table, pretending to enjoy the company of your family, and falling asleep in church.

HA! Pleather, my fondest memories of Easter have everything to do with sitting in the pew at church, watching my dad out of the corner of my eye. In true Mr. Bean style, he would pretend to mouth the words to the prayers he didn't know, and fall asleep during the priest's homily (which usually consisted of a few words about the meaning of rebirth, followed by 40 minutes of chastising the members of the congregation who only came to mass on Easter and Christmas.)

Yeah, cleaning the house. I'm with you guys.

Actually I believe the Pope croaked because he couldn't stand the fact that one of HIS own DEACON's children was blatantly not a "practicing Catholic."

Said Deacon obviously didn't bring his child up in the ways of the Catholic church. The Pope couldn't take it.

(I'm getting much better at displacing the leftover Catholic guilt!)

P.S. Good for you! You can actually tell your mom that you don't celebrate Easter! We just go up and eat and pretend that all of the children are practicing Catholics :)