April 25, 2006

American Idol - Top 6 - Love Songs

Recap: Love songs. As in, "I LOVE WHEN THIS SHOW IS OVER." Constructive criticism and actual useful suggestions from David Foster and Andrea Bocelli do not preclude most of the contestants from serving up a heaping bowl of vocal crap.

Comments: Are the judges crazy? Katharine was fantastic! Who else among them could have duetted with Bocelli like that? Simon goes, "By singing that song, you are saying, 'I am as good as Whitney Houston.' You're not." Ok, so what he's saying is, Katharine is nothing like Whitney. Fair enough, because the last time I checked, BITCH WAS ON CRACK! If I were Katharine, I'd be all, "Thanks, Simon, for the compliment!"

Elliott absolutely, totally KILLED tonight. He was amazing. But really, the highlight of his two minutes was Tammy Faye Abdul's performance at the judges' table. Is she getting her crack from Whitney or what?

Zombie Pickler gave me a headache. And why was she dressed like a character in a John Waters movie? Or was that the top half of my dance recital costume from 1982? Not sure.

Paris. Go away. How can she be so fantastic one week and suck so hard the next? My, but that performance was dramatical. And I'm sorry, but all Babs songs should just be completely off-limits on this show. It's blasphemy, I tell you.

I'm so sad to say Taylor did not give his best performance tonight. And what else have we learned? Yes, velvet jackets do not do well under stage lights. Fuzz is not the camera's friend.

Not loving the Chris, tonight, either. He's just back to his old tricks. Did he not hear anything they said about singing from the diaphragm instead of the throat? Because at the end of that song, his big ol' bald head was thrown right back into its usual position. I still love him like crazy, though!

Most of all, I enjoy the boring-ass celebrities who get tickets to appease their demanding children! And Tori Spelling!

Bottom three: Kellie, Paris and (sniff) Taylor. If Kellie doesn't go home tonight, I am going to throw a rock through the TV screen.

And not just because I want a new LCD.

i am just here to agree with everything you said, except i liked chris tonight. i may be his bitch, but i'm not totally sure.

elliott was fantastic, and paula was HILARIOUS. and poor kat did not deserve that pile of crizappy commentary.

blah blah blah we are the same person this week. i'll shut up.

In defense of Whitney Houston, she hasn't been on crack. She's made that very clear. It seems that crack is whack and for poor people. Of course, anyone who watched more than 30 seconds of "Being Bobby Brown" or has even seen a picture of Whitney recently knows that's a lie.