Recap: Season 5 of American Idol continues on its rapid downward trajectory toward complete and utter boringness. Kenny Rogers advises the young performers on vocal style, stage presence, and why to avoid plastic surgery and hair plugs.

Comments: Manic, wild Taylor has somehow been replaced by toned-down, boring Taylor. I don't care for that Taylor. Elliott was too nervous to bounce and though I love him, Chris spent another week staring blankly into the camera. Mandisa and Paris performed most of their songs off-key and Ace, while better, was still empty in the head. Kellie's cross-eyed zombie singing ruined a fantastically sassy Reba song for America. Katharine did as decent a job as one can with the crappiest Faith Hill song ever written. Since when is Gary Allan's version of a Vertical Horizon song "country?" Bucky started out on shaky ground but managed to pull it off. He's the only one of the bunch showing any improvement as the season goes on! Ryan's facial hair has now usurped Simon's too-tight microfiber girl-shirts as the Most Disturbing Thing About American Idol. Randy looked like he just came from a ghetto barbershop quartet dress rehearsal, and Kenny Rogers' facial features look like someone molded them out of play-doh and stuck them on his mug.

I had such high hopes for this season, but they're quickly dashing away. They better bring it next week!