I've been watching the news all day, feeling sick to my stomach over the loss of life and injuries caused by today's attacks on London. To be honest, I've been tuning out all the discussion of Al Qaeda and terrorist cells and suicide bombing. I'm sick and tired of listening to the talking heads go around and around about it. All I can think about are the people. The people on the buses and trains and in their cars and on the streets - people who were killed and injured and scared out of their minds. I think about families receiving phone calls that can cause relief or complete and utter despair. I can't stop thinking about that.
I understand that terrorism is meant to instill intense fear in people - to unnerve them to the point of immobility - to weaken the human spirit. I understand that the "experts" say that the best way to "fight" terrorism is to go about one's life as normal, showing the terrorists that we can't be beaten down; we can't be broken. It all makes perfect sense to me.
Until I think about the fact that the person I love most in this world rides the Metro into Washington, DC every day and if anything ever happened to him, I don't know what I'd do. I don't want him riding the Metro to work, I don't want him riding the Metro at lunch, and I don't want him riding the Metro home. Maybe it makes me a bad American and maybe the terrorists have broken me, but fuck. It terrifies the hell out of me to think the worst - and I can't help but think about it. Not because the terror alert has been raised for mass transit systems in the U.S., and not because I'm paranoid. Not because I've been watching footage of London all day and not because of 9/11, and yet it's because of all of it and more.
Everything about this has me in a knot today. Anyone have any words of wisdom or comfort on the topic?