Yesterday, Tony and I went to see 13 Going On 30, starring his other girlfriend, Jennifer Garner.

I was entertained. The movie was described somewhere as "Big with boobs." That's fairly accurate, although Tom Hanks was much more believable and hysterical as a young boy in a man's body. I'm not a huge fan of Tom Hanks, but that movie is one of my favorites, and his performance was stellar. Still, the soundtrack ruled and the choreography to "Thriller" and "Love is a Battlefield" was a blast from the past. (The past = a few weeks ago. Did I mention I know the "Beat It" choreography by heart?) My only real criticism was that the fashion and shoes were not duly featured. I was left wanting more. Sigh.

As I said, the movie was entertaining, but equally entertaining was the little girl sitting behind us. In one scene, the main character, Jenna, walks into her closet and surveys the goods. She picks up a black and red lace thong. Without missing a beat, the child behind us yells out, "Oh, look, Mommy! You have those!"

I lost it. I do believe I clapped. I couldn't contain my laughter. The little girl's father was laughing uncontrollably, too. I don't think the mother heard her daughter's comment because she kept asking her other child if she wanted candy. Over and over and over. Loudly. After arriving ten minutes late. Two things I can't stand: people who open candy wrappers during live theater and people who talk loudly in movies.

So here's the point of this entire story. As the credits rolled, I heard the father say to the little girl, "You were completely embarrassing during the movie." The child responded, "Why, Daddy?" He replied, "I'm not going to discuss this now. I'll tell you later."

I was livid. He laughed at his daughter's comment and then chastised her for it later. Talk about mixed messages. Don't laugh at your child's behavior if you find it unacceptable. Furthermore, don't berate and belittle your child for their behavior. Kids can't separate themselves from what they do, and it's up to the ADULTS to let them know, look, I love YOU, but I don't love that behavior I just witnessed. And what the hell were these people thinking bringing their kids to this movie in the first place? This girl, in my opinion, was much too young to be at this flick.

Right now, we have people in this country moaning and groaning about all the "offensive" content in the media. The FCC is fining Howard Stern left and right (but not Oprah!) and a Constitutional amendment is on the table. What happened to personal responsibility? Did we litigate it out of existence? It's no wonder the government feels it has the right and the responsibility to tell ME what my child should and should not be viewing. Idiots like the guy behind me at the movie theater don't have the common sense to RENT a more appropriate movie for his family.

Since the federal government feels it's necessary to regulate and control so many aspects of MY private life, maybe they could do me a favor. Establish a law whereby people require a license before they're allowed to breed.

Thx in advance.