I have an addiction. It's not drugs or alcohol. I don't touch the stuff. Okay, I touch red wine in very small doses, but that's all.

I'm addicted to Time Life Collections.

Seriously.

I may have mentioned before that I have this slight problem of spending insane amounts of money just before and during the months in which I do not receive a paycheck. Cha-ching.

This summer was the year of Time Life Collections. Normally, I'm an amazon girl, but this summer I was seduced by Time Life and their sexy infomercials. I don't sleep at night and it's usually the time I make rash decisions about how to squander my earnings.

Currently, I own the following collections. "Modern Rock (80s)", "Ultimate 70s", "Singers and Songwriters" and "The Classic Rhythm and Blues Collection".

I made the stupendous mistake of acquiring the "Modern Rock" collection through the traditional method of having volumes delivered to my home every four to six weeks - with the option of sending back any discs that didn't meet with my complete satisfaction. Big f'n mistake. I just realized two days ago that there are, in fact, some volumes I do not own!

If you don't know this about me, I am just obsessive compulsive enough for this to be a big deal in my life. I seriously think about the CDs I don't have. I must get them. I need them. An incomplete collection is unacceptable. I wish my mild OCD manifested in a need to clean and scour my house rather than a need to organize computer files and alphabetize my CD collection, goddammit.

Once I FINALLY purchase the remaining "Modern Rock" volumes out of which I was cheated, I plan to move on to DVD collections. The "Best of Saturday Night Live" and "Beavis and Butthead" collections are calling my name in the night.

Sure, I could go to the video store and rent some of this stuff, but to me, that's just stupid. First of all, I like to watch shit over and over until I have memorized enough to be completely annoying to my friends with random quoting and singing. I am especially skilled at coming up with a theme song to suit any occasion. I'm pretty proud of that.

Secondly, I suck at returning videos on time. I usually pay more in late fees than it would have cost me to buy the friggin' thing in the first place. If Target can sell me a DVD for $14.44, or $9.44, or better yet, $5.44, how can I leave that in the store?

See, it's logical.