Today I only have a couple things to say because I am all hyped up again about going to visit Amy and beginning Round Two of My Life As A Clay Aiken Groupie.

I must point out my own hypocrisy so no one else has to bother.

I am the queen of changing my mind. There's nothing wrong with that. Except if you're me.

See, I like to make sweeping statements about my life using absolutes like ALWAYS and NEVER. These words usually turn around and bite me right in the ass.

Like when I told Amy I was NEVER dyeing my hair again. Followed by a huge speech about women who fall victim to society's prescribed notions of beauty and youth. "I am letting my hair go gray when nature decides it's time."

Yeaaaaaah, right.

I couldn't get to the haircolor aisle in Target fast enough the day I found seven gray hairs poking out of my temple.

Then there was the time the Discovery Channel aired the show about e coli. I watched that f'n thing and immediately declared myself a vegetarian. No WAY am I going to let my internal organs get all mushy.

Last night I went to this swanky chop house for dinner. I had the biggest friggin' piece of filet mignon you've ever seen in your life. I'm going to eat the rest for breakfast today.

Last year there was the "I'm moving, I'm staying" drama, and of course, there's the everlasting hypocrisy called I Love To Criticize People Who Watch Lots of Television when we all know my eyeballs are about to fall out from so much channel surfing.

I seem to have this hypocrisy thing down pat. Maybe I should stay Catholic after all.