August 13, 2003

The Decline of Literacy

I am not a huge music snob.

Wait a minute. Yes I am.

I checked the Billboard charts today, and I am disgusted to say that Clay Aiken's single "This Is The Night" is at position #46.

I happen to like this song. A lot. I remember Randy Jackson's comment that he hated the song and hoped "they" didn't make it his first single. I remember yelling at the television, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, DAWG! DUDE, that song is amazing!" Randy also said Clay "sang his face off," which is now part of my everyday vernacular, so I'm letting the negative comment slide. This time.

So here's what I don't understand. A literate song like "This is the Night" is DOZENS of places behind these songs on the charts...

Right Thurr
I looked up "thurr" in the dictionary. It doesn't exist. I don't think any songs with words in the title yet unrecognized by Merriam-Webster or Oxford should be allowed in the top 40.

Never Leave You - Uh Ooh, Uh Oooh!
I would like to see the sheet music for this song so I can determine if syncopation or perhaps an extra sixteenth note thrown in is responsible for the extra "o" in the second "Uh Oooh!".

Rock Wit U (Awww Baby)
Look, spell the words correctly, or don't write the song. It's "WITH", not "WIT". "WIT" has a completely different meaning and has no place in this song, that's for certain. And the last time I checked, "U" had two more letters preceding it. Awww, baby.

Are You Happy Now?
No, no I am not. For two reasons. This song is horrible, and Michelle Branch sings it. She dissed Clay, so she's dead to me.

Thoia Thoing
I have no idea what this means, and I don't want to know. The fact that a person who was arrested on child pornography charges is beating CLAY AIKEN - my DOWNY BALL - on the charts NAUSEATES ME.

My Love is Like...Wo
Yeah, that's really deep.

I am taking solace in the knowledge that only one of the songs has a little black triangle next to its name. Platinum status. I wonder which one that might be?

Now you understand why I don't listen to the radio.

Julie
Damn right!! Remember in the good ol' days...even the lame-ass stupid songs at least were in EFFING ENGLISH and had actual WORDS in them. (okay, "oo-ee-oo-ah-ah-ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang" notwithstanding) And don't get me started on how R Kelly keeps winning awards and selling albums while country music radio stations all over the south refuse to play the Dixie Chicks...hey, feel free to eff a 13 year old and film it, but you'd better not diss the president! Oh it just makes me want to rip Clay's stripey shirt right off of him...no wait, I wanted to do that anyway! ;o)
2003-08-13 12:59:40

Katynka (Kat)
I'm ashamed that you, Marie, an English major, don't know that an extra "o" in the second "oooh" is a traditional poetic device going back all the way to Shakespeare. Don't you remember, for example: "Ooh, parting is such oooh sweet sorrow"? Or how about, "My mistress' eyes, ooh, are nothing like the oooh sun."
2003-08-13 13:06:46

Nelle
I can't stand listening to the radio anymore. ps--you so cannot have my clutch photo!
2003-08-13 13:30:35

Linda
I'm wit U, man! Where da literacy at in ths songs? I h8 radio cuz of stuff like that 2! UR rite! Hehehe...
2003-08-13 13:34:28

Marie
Yes, now I understand why U RAWK and U R So Kewl are ubiquitous in Diaryland. It's the radio's fault.
2003-08-13 13:36:35

Kelly
Whatchoo talkin' bout Willis? Dontchoo no that theyz jest reprasentin' tha street, ma nizzle?
2003-08-13 13:44:42

Wendfizzle in the Floshizzle Ma Nizzle..
Yo Dawg, Fo Shizzle, ma nizzle... wut up whichur baad self?? Rok Wit U RAWKS ... okay, I've got to stop this... I'm starting to get nauseated too...
2003-08-13 14:42:18

Shieldmaiden
Amen, muh sista! Word! My local radio station won't even play TITN (or FWW,thankfully) because the director's wife (also an on-air "personality" and his co-host of the morning show)is a major b***h with an anti-American Idol attitude. I had to switch to Clay's CD twice in one hour today because they played two Meow B'atch "songs".She will always be the "Artist" Formerly Known As Michelle Branch to me.
2003-08-13 15:55:18

lyn
Is it some kind of technicality that keeps "BOTW" from being played/ranked, etc.? Though Clay sings TITN great, the lyrics are a little too 13-year-old girly for me ("never be lonely again"?), but I think there was an utterly enormous response to how Clay did BOTW. (Ah, just remembered how RCA over-orchestrated it; hope they clean it up for the album).
2003-08-13 17:25:28

Cindy
The problem is that they are wearing out the song during the pre-release period when it does not count toward chart time. Then all those weeks of exposure all get rolled into the first weeks chart slot. So it got #1 right off the bat, but just for a short time, instead of saying in the tops slots for many weeks. Mis-handling. They are doing the same thing with his upcoming Album .
2003-08-14 09:29:11

Sue
Dang! Always hitting buttons I don't mean to. Anyway, this is a little late but I have to agree with you about the decline of the english language. Have you seen the new words that have been added to the latest Websters? They aren't words, they're slang. That was the right side of my brain speaking. Now the left. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the evolution of our language is fueled by the popular culture, assimilating the subculture's vernacular into the mainstream of accepted speach. If this were not the way it worked, we would all be saying thee and thou. But I still agree with you, I don't want to be listening to the evening news in 20 years and have it sound like those gawd awful so called songs! I also love to listen to Clay sing because I can understand him.
2003-08-19 23:02:16

Christine
Oh my God, you are amazing!!! I stumbled across your site by accident, and I decided to casually browse through some of its pages. You're hysterical! Virtually EVERYTHING you say has been something I myself have thought at some point, especially your comments about the non-English songs beating Clay on the Billboard charts (and yes, i hate Michelle Branch with a passion as well, after she declared on Z100 that "Rolling Stone isn't what it used to be now that they have Clay on the cover"). Excellent site, keep up the good work! It's so refreshing to see such an opinionated, dedicated fellow Clay fan :)
2003-08-22 21:26:17