American Idol and Clay Aiken fans, keep reading. Everyone else, go away until my obsession wears off. You�ll be bored otherwise and I don�t want to hear your eyes rolling from here.

Okay, so. The American Idols concert tour starts today. American IDOLS. Tsk. There�s only one Idol and I think we all know who that is, now, don�t we?

There�s a bit of a �movement� going on among Clay Aiken fans to wear red shoes to the concert. Non-rock dwellers will know this is to honor and thank Clay for his hip-shakin� leather jacket-drippin� RED SHOE-wearin� performance of Grease on American Idol. May 6, 2003 to be exact. A bit o� memory refreshment coming up...

This whole red shoe movement has gotten me thinking. Leave me alone, it doesn�t take much.

I don�t think any self-respecting fan of Mr. Downy Ball himself can just show up to one of these concerts in any old pair of red shoes. They must reflect their sincere gratitude to Clay for his amazing performances and, of course, all the Eye Fluttering. The shoes must be hella cool.

Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to create some basic guidelines regarding acceptable footwear for the Red Shoe movement.

1. Boys are only allowed to wear the Diesel numbers worn by Clay himself on Grease night. See above for details.

2. Girls MUST wear heels. No whining. No worries about comfort. When Clay�s in the hizzouse, you need to give him mad props.

3. If you choose an open-toed style, you must, I repeat, MUST paint your toenails red. Deviations from this rule will not be tolerated. Toe rings are preferred.

The following shoes have been approved by ME. This list is not exhaustive and I will accept suggestions, particularly those beginning with the words Prada, Stuart Weitzman and Manolo Blahnik.

I�ll be wearing THESE, however, on my date with Clay.