Once upon a time, in the Land of Idol, lived a beautiful queen. Queen Marie lived happily with her husband and love of her life, King Clay.

King Clay was good and kind and treated his subjects fairly. He never bit his toenails in their presence and graced them with his angelic voice each morning from his balcony. King Clay was a busy king, and his photo shoots and concert rehearsals, sadly, kept him from remaining in the Land of Idol as often as he would have liked, away from his beautiful queen and her skank ho shoes.

Thus, Queen Marie was in charge of the Land of Idol much of the time. Because it was a peaceful and loving place, full of beautiful broads and brudes, Queen Marie had much time to prepare herself for the return of her beloved king. Queen Marie spent her days with her Lady in Waiting, Miss Kelly, painting her toenails and flatironing her hair. She was the fricking bomb.

But one day, a terrible thing happened. It was the day that the Mofos came to town.

Down in Mofoville, a rumor was spreading that the good folk of the Land of Idol were revolting against their king. Revolting with evil thoughts of lechery and other such madness. Sensing weakness, the Mofos decided to swoop in on the people of Idol Land and try to abduct their king!

Those Mofos came to the Land of Idol by stealth, during the night, leaving nasty posts on trees defiling the good name of all those in the Land of Idol and calling them “weird” and “disgusting.” Artists from the Land of Idol were defamed and general malaise was spread. Fortunately, the ProC Army surrounded the Land of Idol and protected the good people from deadly attacks.

Queen Marie was awakened in the night with reports of Mofos coming. She quickly assembled her team and got to work. Miss Sherry and Miss Kelly posted rebuttals on trees in the forest. Mentions of Claysbridge and the Fourth of July were offered up to show the good and loving nature of the Land of Idol folk. Miss Nelle offered an Olive Branch to the good people of the United ClayNations. A peaceful resolution was preferred.

Fortunately, a war did not ensue. The Mofos retreated. Queen Marie and the people of the Land of Idol were confident that peace across the land was restored.

That night, King Clay performed his first concert with style, grace and passion, thanks to the love and good wishes sent to him from his people, all the while, thinking of his beautiful Queen Marie!